What is this???

It's January 1, 2012. Happy New Year!

In July 2011 I joined Weight Watchers. Again. I was tired of my clothes not fitting, of always feeling my joints ache, and worrying about how to avoid the scale at the doctor's office. Plus I had a friend who had recently lost a lot of weight and started running. She look FABULOUS! And I wanted that to be me.

I've joined WW a thousand times before. I used to joke that this alone should qualify me for Lifetime Membership. I've struggled with weight my entire life, and there has always been a tremendous amount shame associated with dieting. When I did WW (and Atkins, and Jenny Craig, and South Beach) in the past I kept it to myself. Figuring that if I wasn't successful I wouldn't feel bad because no one but me would know. But my experience this time has been different. In addition to tracking my food and exercising and watching my portions, I told people what I was doing.

I've always been someone who worried a little too much about what others thought. So in this instance I decided to use it to my advantage. I figured that the more people who knew what I was doing, the more incentive I would have to make better, more deliberate food choices. . .out fear that they would look at me and say, "Isn't she on WW?? What's she doing downing a 32 ounce Mountain Dew with a donut chaser???" I let go of the shame and I took ownership of my weight, my health and what I was doing by taking about it with friends and colleagues. 

Perhaps it sounds stupid, but it worked. It was hard. Over the weeks, (and then months) the weight started to come off. And people started to notice. Which is a nice feeling when you're used to walking into a room and thinking "Oh shit, is everyone looking at me and thinking that I've gained weight?" So I kept at it. I kept watching my points, and I increased my exercise, and before I knew it I was ending 2011 41.8 pounds lighter than when I started. So while it may be tacky to brag about yourself, yeah, I'm going to brag about myself. Because it's a big accomplishment and I worked hard. 

Watching the numbers go down on the scale is nice (who am I kidding.. .it's awesome), but there has also been another positive, slightly unintended outcome: through this process I was able to tap into a community of women who were each on their own path of improved health and fitness. And through them I found level of support and encouragement that was different from that of my husband and family.

Which leads me to this blog.

I wanted to create a journal to talk about what I'm doing. To share successes and challenges in order to keep myself accountable. Besides re-learning how to make smarter, healthier choices, I've realized that I'm not the first person to do these things. So I'm challenging myself to not only stick with WW and exercise this new year, but to blog about. The good, the bad, the funny, and the ugly.