I feel like if I am going to celebrate success, than I also have to be willing to admit challenges. So here goes nothing.
I seem to be having a hard time getting my head in the WW game the last few weeks. I feel like I am going through the motions and that's about it. Last week I weighed and I stayed the same. I was hopeful that I had lost, grateful that I didn't gain, and honest enough with myself to acknowledge that I hadn't really done the work that leads to losing weight. I tracked my food, but I know that I could have done a better job of writing EVERYTHING down. . .because if you bite it, you've got to write it. And if you nibble it, you've got to scibble it. I also could have exercised more. It dawned on me this morning that I am supposed to participate in another 5K in a few weeks and and that I am woefully unprepared. I haven't run outside since before Christmas. Just haven't had the motivation. I know it's something I should do, and that it's something that makes me feel good afterwards, but the idea of exercising at 4:30am so I can then put in a 12-hour day (16 if you factor in the kids) isn't so appealing when I am setting my alarm clock.
I've been doing what I've been doing for seven months. I've had a really, REALLY good record of losing. I want to keep going. I need to keep going. I like that people are noticing how I look. That I have a closet full of too-big clothes. That I have more confidence. That I am not avoiding mirrors as much. So why can't I get my act together?
Where is my head right now? I joined Pinterest and found myself creating a pin board entitled "Things I Hope To Make One Day." It includes pictures of food....decadent things like lemon fudge, gooey brownies, and cheesecake in a jar. I suppose it's better to look at the pictures rather than actually making and eating it. Still, I feel like I am going through the motions and I worry that it's just not good enough anymore. The first 25 came off a lot easier (and faster) than the second 25 did. And I'd like to lose another at least another 30 by June. Part of me wonders if I need to take a little bit of a WW-holiday in order to give myself a breaks and jump-start my metabolism. However, that's a slippery slope. It's one thing to have a cheat day (or two). But longer than that means having to get back on bandwagon, refocus, and then deal with the ramifications of going off program....like gaining weight.
I know what I have to do. Maybe Pinterest is the answer to my motivation problem. Perhaps I need to just keep posting pictures of shit I want to make and eat? Reminds me of my friend Scott. When we were kids he used to cut out pictures of food and tape them to his closet door so he would have something to look at and think about when (if) his parents sent him to bed without dinner.
I'm open to thoughts and words is wisdom. Because right now I'm worried that I'll soon need GPS to find my motivation. Although cheesecake in a jar looks super yummy. As does cherry pie in a jar.......
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